I woke up in the wee hours of a still asleep cockeral, due to a heavy load of fresh orange juice sloshing around in my kidneys. If it were to be put in the standard local time, it would be 6.00 a.m. After I had cleared my exquisite load of liquified fresh Vitamin Cs, I went wiggling back into the chambers of my own blankets. Hoping to induce a loud snore which was usually followed by a period of unconciousness, I closed shut instantaneously both my eyelids. However, lady luck wasn't with me. I continued to be awake. What am I going to do? Get out of bed? For Kee Chai's sake, there is nothing to do this early! It was my luck that I remembered that a peculiar looking parabolic dish was stuck on the rooftop. ASTRO, the entity was called, is the main cause the Cable Guy was forced to get a new job. For cable was ol’ school compared to this piece of ceramic cum high polimered plastic jutting out into the far beyond. There I was with a reason to get those sapped limbs moving from my small, tiny quarters to the spacious living room. My desire for the continuing denial of my existence(what else? sleeping,duh) was still begging, a big gush of air was taken in. Soon, it was released in a loud, piercing gurgle of vocals similiar to the shrieks of scramjets.(YAAWWWN! *sniff*). In spite of the apparent inertia of things, I struggled against this motionless body which was willingly chained to the entity of slumber. In a few minutes, I was within the living room. A couch, with pairs of decorative pillows came into my view A loud stud was heard. It was me, retiring my perfectly symetrical biological bumpers (glutinous maximus) on the soft cushions. After my favourite muscles were relaxed, my back slittered to the contours of the chair lazily. My sights then swerved to the right. I was shocked by an emanating brilliance that the world has never seen. Minute eyes were suddenly bulged, haplessly short sighted korneas were abruptly widened, as I focus almost reverantly on that sacred item of unadulterated grace. Spontaneously my right arm began to swing with my elbows staightened, lifting the full weight of that hairy, simian hand towards the direction of the Nobled Treasure. My digits of five were positioned in a way to seize and to snatch. A sense of desperation was felt yet followed. Slowly but surely my monologues were being dominated by the repetition of a single phrase, over and over again: “My Precioussss.” Such was the will of the remote. It was carved and crafted by the ironsmiths of Phillips, tricked into it by the Dark Lord ASTRO. Anyway, with everything set, I switched on The Big Box of Moving Pictures. Despite electrons being splattered (technically it would be ‘collided’ but ‘massacred’ seemed better. Since this blog is a family oriented site, I would have to do with ‘splattered’) on the wide open screen to satisfy my 5 minute attention span, my moral conscience was clear from the haunting images of magnetic and electromagnetic fields torturing, humiliating not to mention accelerating former ionless, randomly moving particles of space ala Abu Graib (Iraq) style. Perhaps it was the Dark Lord of ASTRO that set me straight. The atrocities were paying off. Different vector coordinates involving the Tormentor Anod harassing the ill-fated electrons into sexually and socially (yes, electrons do have a social and love life. You can just find them on Friendster! Or ogling at Playtron bunnies) compromising poses form patches of red, blue and green. It was the bloom of technicolour! The first pictures were arising. Animated motion was detected. At last, a vivid, anatomically humanoid creature with two eyes, two ears, two legs, two hands, a mouth, anose and a body without a head ( or is that a head without a body?) was seen. There, the familiar tunes were sung with a Carribean Pirate’s accent: “Who lives in a pinapple under the sea...” The rest was history. I spent the next 10 hours (excluding bathing, eating etc.) lying motionless on the cool, cozy settee further impairing my already less-than-20/20 vision.The usual slack was around the corner, coercing me to do nothing except laze onto the giant couch with some highly nutritious keropok on one hand and a remote on the other. Nothing else was up on demand, except for writing this blog.